Stay true to the destination

We all have our own concept of value – consciously or unconsciously – and this guides us in our life. It determines where we put our time and energy, what goals we pursue – how we invest ourselves.

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a set of techniques that holds that the language we use, i.e. the words we choose when we communicate with others and ourselves, programs our brain and our actions to subconsciously work on manifesting what we are saying, especially our self-talk.

It is therefore critical to be more aware of the way we are framing our desires and aspirations. Not only should they be positive, but they should not confuse means with ends. For example, if we say to ourselves, ‘I want to be rich’, or ‘I want lots of money’, that may be true, but we should go deeper in our articulation.

Why do we want wealth? It is a means to more important ends. Really, what we want is independence, the freedom to choose, the ability to surround ourselves with quality, or to have meaningful experiences. We may each express our ultimate ‘why’ differently, but it is important that we do. And then change the language.

This may mean being more discerning in the words we use to describe value. For example, prosperity, abundance, thriving and flourishing are states of being which money can help to achieve, but they are not the same thing. If we focus on the experiential state that success will bring us, we are more likely to be successful.

Here’s a little story to make the point. A man is dying of thirst in the desert. At that moment, a sip of water is worth more than anything money could buy. So value is contextual. Sometimes, the things we value most cannot be bought.

Another story. A billionaire hears of a mystical man in the Far East who can teach him to walk on water, but it will cost him his billions to learn. He parts with his money and learns how to practice this miracle. Later, he meets a sadhu (wise man) sitting on the river bank and decides to impress him with his water-walking feat. The sadhu asks him how much it cost him to learn this skill. Billions, says the man. And how much does a ferry boat across the river cost, asks the sadhu. $10, says the man. Well, says the sadhu, that’s how much your miracle is worth.

The moral of both stories is to stay true to the destination and don’t get caught up in the means to that end. There are many who swear by the practice of daily affirmations (positive statements of intent, often written down), among them some very successful people, so there is something to be said for this technique also.