This too shall pass

When the heart is full and the days are long, it is hard to imagine anything else. And yet, as night follows day and winter follows summer, so too will heartache and shadows come our way. There is nothing that can prepare us for emotional pain. Nevertheless, it helps to remember that so many others have emerged from the tunnel and found the light and warmth of love again.

When we are young, we fear loss, but with time I have found that the anxiety diminishes. The reason is not that loss is less painful as we get older, but rather that it is not so all consuming. We learn, through painful experience, that we can love and lose and still go on to find happiness and love again. We learn that although the pain of loss may never go away, it is a pain that we can live with.

This dreadful pain is something for which there is no anaesthetic. It is a stone that one day, sooner or later, we must all carry in our hearts. It is an ache and feeling of sadness that never leaves once it enters. But it is a burden we can carry. It does not stop our own journey forwards. What makes it easier to endure – and to find the sun again – is the nurturing love of friends and family.

It is only by going through the fire that I know how strong I can be. It is only by losing part of my hopes and dreams that I found a new wellspring of possibilities. It is only by letting go of the past that I could create the future.

When it comes to pain and loss, all the clichés are true. Time does heal, albeit slowly. The spirit does triumph, albeit falteringly. We do become stronger, although in the midst of our pain we may feel weaker than ever. We do emerge somehow more whole, despite it feeling like our life has shattered into a million pieces. We do go on – because we have to. And in the darkest hour, the flickering candle is knowing that this too shall pass.